Where: DanceFIT Studio, 25 Monmouth St, Boston, MA

Hip, Hip Hop, Hip Hop Anonymous

At 6:30 P.M. on a humid and uncharacteristically warm Wednesday I once again found myself getting ready to work out on the top floor of that Brookline church. Dancefit sesh numero dos.

Today, though, I won't be hearkening back to my childhood tutu, leotard, and Vivaldi days.  Instead, today, I must recall evoke the days when Channing Tatum was forced to serve as a janitor at my ballet studio and upon discovering he was a remarkable dancer, I made him my own dance partner.  We learned and grew from one another, and fell in love, as we choreographed and flawlessly executed a sassy dance number.  Oh wait...

You see, I'm in Alyssa Caddle's Hip-Hop with Abs class.  And, no, I am not so good at the hippin' and the hoppin.'  But, that's just peachy keen, because the class spends the entire first half on toning exercises coupled with a music-free-for-all.  No attempts at some semblance of some sort of hip-hoppiness were necessary until the latter half.

Hello, Alyssa!

Lovely Alyssa, who looks like Teri Polo in all the Fockers movies, leads us in delicious, deep stretches. 

"Concentrate on your stretching," she urges, "Forget about everything else.  Stop thinking about dinner."  Her skill set apparently includes mind-reading.

Da Tunes:

The music during the stretches ranged all the way from Mumford and Sons to Bruno Mars - a compilation of songs very much resembling my iPod on shuffle (without Mulan's "I'll Make a Man Out of You," unfortunately).

Now, Work it Out, and Work it Out:

After those yummy stretches, Alyssa guided us through an ouchy-ouchy legs and butt work-out, mostly involving different (and how-low-can-you-go) squat variations.  She reminded us that "it's not supposed to be pleasant."  It's not, but afterward, you can be pretty pumped you survived the burn. 

We were then ordered to drop down and give her thirty.  I'm serious.  As if I can do thirty proper push-ups.  Try dividing that by ten.  Alyssa went around to each student individually to check up on our form.  "Go as low as you can! Let your nose touch the mat! If you fall, you aren't really taking a big risk...you're about an inch away from the floor," she told us.  Unfortunately, my more buoyant push-ups were not a product of acrophobia, but my dinky little arms.

At some point during push-ups, Sugarland's "Stuck like Glue" began taunting me through the speakers.  I was, in fact, stuck on the yoga-mat where my biceps had left me following their surrender.  F-you, Sugarland.  I managed to muster a couple more (pathetic) push-ups.

Alyssa then talked us through sets of different types of crunches.  Again, she walked around the room to make sure everyone was doing it right.  This individual attention was super.  Yes, her corrections made everything hurt one thousand times more, but that's why we do it, right?

Shake It Like a Polaroid Picture:

Finally, it was time to JUST DANCE.  Alyssa took us step-by-step to learn a choreographed little number.  I appreciate her awareness of how silly and self-conscious we all felt.  She reminded us a million times, that should we experience a brain fart or just can't grasp the choreography, to dance however we freakin' want.  Having fun and moving were the priorities.

Nonetheless, if the instructor is teaching you a dance...you want to learn the dance.  Being the over-thinker I am, I over-thought approximately everything, messed up most steps, and overall, danced like a sickly penguin (awkward feet, droopy hands...shh. it's a good analogy).

At one point, we were supposed to slap a hand on our caboose, look over our shoulder, shake it, and "be cute."  Alyssa yelled, "When have you gotten to be cute all day? I know I haven't, sitting at a desk, writing emails.  So, be cute!"  Alyssa? Adorable.  Me? Just shameful.

So, with all the consternation of trying to learn a routine, the physical intensity of the first half shifted to a more mental exercise in trying to learn and keep steps straight.  The cardio workout I was hoping to sneak in during the dance portion just wasn't there.  To be fair, though, Alyssa did tell us that we should dance, have fun, and not worry about how badly we are messing up the steps.  I just found this to be easier said than done.  After class, I met a fellow lawyer/aspiring hip-hop dancer who expressed similar feelings.  I suppose this is why we are lawyers and not Janet Jackson's back-up dancers.

Alyssa led us through the toning exercises beautifully.  She is also a very skilled dancer and her choreography is bumpin'.  But, go into the class knowing that the hip-hop portion is very much learning a routine, and not so much a cardio workout using some hip-hop inspiration.

I leave you with one final thought. 

Unlike myself, please ensure prior to class that your black leggings have not become crotchless through wear and tear, exposing your red lace undies for all to admire.  But, hey, could have been (way) worse.

From the DanceFIT Studio website: Alyssa has had the pleasure of enjoying dance in its many forms for over twenty years. Trained in the traditional studio environment while growing up, Alyssa was exposed to jazz, modern, lyrical, and hip hop while focusing primarily on tap and ballet. She competed on the convention circuit throughout New England and nationally while growing up, and continued by dancing in college at Northeastern University (NUDANCO and NU Dance Team). She recently finished cheering for an NFL football team, and is thankful that Gina has given her an outlet to continue pursuing her love of dance. As a mechanical engineer (and cube-dweller) by day, Alyssa absolutely understands the need for us to all let loose and enjoy dance at the end of the day.

Find out more about DanceFIT Studio at www.dancefitstudio.com

Find Alyssa on facebook 

Read more about when Alyssa was NFL Cheerleader of the Week  

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