Getting married? Event coming up? Big wet t-shirt contest next week? My list of the top 10 classes that will get you results, FAST. These are the classes I took in 2011 that served me a slice of humble pie whenever I started getting cocky about how "fit" I was.
My friends are always whining to me about getting married and shit and asking me what they should do to get in shape. So, I put together this list so that my “friends” can stop reminding me that I'm single.
You're welcome.
This is not a list of the most pleasant, or addictive, or lovey-dovey classes out there. This is a list of the classes that I recommend for people who need to see results, PRONTO. (I also love them all. But then again, I’m a psycho.)
1. Fly 60 with John Wellmann (@ Flywheel Sports).
John is intense, has no mercy, and will absolutely eek every last ounce of energy out of your legs. This class made me vomit. PS: sit in the front row.
2. Adult Fitness with Dave Tebidor (@ Velocity Sports Performance)
The owner of the Velocity Sports Performance facility, "Coach Dave" will treat you like you’re an athlete training for the Olympics – and not in a cheesy way. Get ready to jump through ladders, pull weighted sleds, and sprint.
3. As 1 with Mark Merchant (@ As 1 Effect).
Mark is like a reverse Sour Patch Kid. First he's sweet... then he's sadistically merciless. He’s one of those 24-hour-wilderness-race types. You may have trouble walking after class (or for the next few days).
4. 30/60/90 with Kristi Molinaro (@ Equinox).
This utterly intense workout will bring you to your knees. Interval training system that uses the frequent change in movement to distract you from the fact that there are, um, no breaks.
5. Any class at Barry’s Bootcamp with Alycia Stevenin (@ Barry’s Bootcamp).
She’s mildly goofy, but most notably her class is out-of-control hard. She will burn your muscles out until they absolutely fatigue – and then she’ll add on more reps with lighter weights (just in case you had any juice left). Hello, definition.
6. Physique 57 Advanced with Alexander DeJong (@ Physique 57).
Are you feeling tired? This stern Russian coach will not comfort you, like other P57 instructors might. He’ll cock his head to the side with a look that says, “I don’t understand why you would stop, when I gave no such command.”
7. CORE Booty Blast with Corey Hill (@ Equinox).
You’ll feel like someone stabbed you in the asscheeks tomorrow.
8. Powerstrike with Ilaria Montagnani (@ Equinox).
If fitness classes come in icecream flavors, this is cardio kickboxing class is the “Schweddy Balls” flavor.
9. I.AM.YOU. Yoga with Lauren Imparato (@ I.AM.YOU).
Who knew that yoga could make you sweat more than spin class? You’ll be swept up in the pace of this 90 minute class; resting will never present itself as a viable option.
10. Core Fusion Cardio with Bergen Wheeler (@ Exhale).
Get ready to sweat yourself a pee stain. Core fusion cardio is “yoga” on steroids. Expect mountain climbers in your planks and lunges in your Warrior 1s.
Choose one, mix and match, whatever. But if you do 10 of these classes in 2 weeks (and chill out on the sausage hot pockets), you WILL see a difference in your body. Enjoy your wet t-shirt contest.
Love, Lactic.
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PS. The photo used of Adriana Lima's beautiful buttcheeks is meant to motivate you, not to suggest that you are going to look like her after 2 weeks. I'm sorry, I can't change your genetics. Or magically turn you into the most evil/sexy lingerie model of time. Sry.