Where: Equinox, 568 Broadway, New York, NY
James: Some Weird Moments, but He'll Make You Shake that Bon Bon (it Just Might not be Pretty)
Isn't it amazing how the tables of attractiveness turn when someone can really bust a move? The ladies in this class, of all shapes, sizes, and colors, were totally sexified by the end of the 90 minute session. Minus me. When I walked in and saw the number of cleated dancing shoes around the room, I thought, shit. This is not going to be pretty.
What I learned from this class.
- The number one takeaway from this class: "Danceology" is way above my dance ability level. I can honestly say that I was one of the worst dancers in the room.
- Anything that involves the word "body roll": out of the question.
- I've discovered a new problem: every time I do a spin I black out/forget where I am... so spins were sort of off limits. Which wasn't ideal as there were 6 spins in each sequence.
- Despite multiple (creative!) attempts, I failed at coming up with well-timed alternatives to spinning. I was so desperate I even tried body rolling. James was like, WTF.
A weird intro.
I came in a few minutes early, and I kind of felt like I had stepped into a scene of West Side Story. James (who I didn't realize was James at that time) and his dancer posse were sitting on the windowsill, chatting away, hooting and hollering. The rest of us sat on the floor quietly waiting for class to begin. It felt a little "cool club".
James got up an nonchalantly at the exact minute class was supposed to start, strolled to the speakers, and started fumbling with his music.
3 minutes past the hour...5 minutes...7 minutes... Finally he started class.
I really dislike when my class time is wasted, especially when the instructor isn't actually late. Plus, 25 minutes in, we took a 5 minute break. During the 5 minute break James just sort of sat by the stereo and howled at us along with the soul music he had on. "ooooOOoOOoooOOoooOooooOoOoooooooO"
What?! You can be goofy, but be goofy while I'm doing something productive, like holding a wall sit or something.
On the actual class.
As you're probably guessing from my rating of 4, things got better.
- The first section of the class (from minutes 7 to 25) was a dance-y warmup plus abs. I really liked this section - it wasn't super challenging, but it flowed well and was a creative approach to "limbering up" pre-dance.
- 5 minute break. Boo.
- Now to the main show.
The choreography was hard but not impossible.
Crowd
A very mixed bag, but heavy on real dancers.
- One punky-looking girl with a bleach blond bob and about 13 ear piercings was tearing it up.
- One woman with dark, stringy hair had taken a break from her motorcycle gang tour just to show everyone up, Danceology style.
- Several voluptuous women put my hip thrusts to absolute shame.
- A handful of flamboyantly gay men who couldn't really dance that well, but who, unlike me, could at least remember the damn sequence. Plus, they put some major "flair" into it.
- One super-awkward middle aged woman who was apparently proud of her post-multiple-pregnancy pooch, pulling up her shirt and knotting it to show off her navel. (Note: I am not hating on moms. But it is really awkward when you pull up the shirt and give me a front view.
Lesson #63:
Dancers are really fucking weird. Beautiful to watch, but so weird. The mirror hogging, mirror loving, and general remembering of all the sequences/ability to dance is baffling.
The verdict on James
- James, despite some odd moments, is a pretty funny dude. He had a hilarious way of describing the dance moves: "slap it, bend it, stoke it!" and cracked joked throughout. He also LOVED his music, which was cute.
- James is also a sick dancer.
- I appreciated that he took time to explain things to everyone when we were having trouble. At one point I asked him to go over one of the spins, and he basically stopped the class to re-teach the move to everyone. Very cool of him.
- I think that people who are serious dancers and are used to his aloof-y attitude might really enjoy this class. For a newbie/terrible dancer/person who enjoys a lot of personal attention from the instructor, this might not be the gateway to your dancing career - but if you're up for a challenge, go for it!
Now I get why Zumba is so popular - it allows us rookies to dance without actually remembering anything.
For me, this was an incredible workout - for my brain. It was totally out of my comfort zone - which is important. I am not used to (nor do I enjoy/appreciate) being the worst at something in the room. For that reason, now I actually want to take more dance classes to improve.
As for my body/coordination, I just wasn't able to do the moves proficiently enough to work up a sweat. If you're not confident about the moves, you end up doing a much smaller version of them. The women who were the best dancers were also definitely getting the best workout.
The cool kids
Always returned to the window area. One woman did some crazy banging on the heater to make noise when we were cheering between each set. I wasn't really cheering because I wasn't particularly proud of my accomplishments. I was more "clapping politely".
In sum:
If your'e a dancer, you'll love it - if you're not a dancer, you'll get something out of it.
From the Equinox website: James Ervin comes to Equinox having been a professional dancer and dance instructor performing on Broadway and performing and teaching around the world. He began teaching a Equinox in 1983. James soon became one of Equinox's premiere instructors being named best step instructor in the east coast. He hold multiple certifications and created Tai Sculpt, blending several eastern disciplines to create his signature class. He is a graduate of the University of San Francisco and holds ACE and AFAA certifications. He is currently the Group Fitness Manager at the 76th Street location.
Find out more about Equinox at www.equinox.com
Find James on facebook
Watch a video of James and Danceology NYC here
Read more about James on the Social Workout and in our class review here
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